Hey Mama,
Let’s be honest: Positive parenting sounds amazing in theory. Raising happy, resilient kids by using calm words and gentle tones? Yes, please! But then life happens. Someone refuses to eat the dinner they just asked for, another one dumps glitter glue on the dog, and your patience—well, let’s just say it packs its bags and leaves the building.
I get it. My patience? It’s not exactly my strongest trait, but it’s something I’m working on every day. So, if you’re like me, here are some practical, down-to-earth positive parenting tips you can try (even when you’re teetering on the edge of “losing it”).
1. Narrate Emotions (Yours and Theirs)
What it is: Acknowledge feelings and give them names. For example, instead of saying, “Stop screaming!” try, “I see you’re really upset. It’s okay to feel mad.”
Why it’s great: It helps kids feel heard and teaches them how to process emotions.
Why it’s hard for me: Because when someone’s yelling, my brain just screams, “MAKE IT STOP.” But when I do manage to narrate instead of react, it’s like a little parenting miracle.
2. Focus on Connection, Not Correction
What it is: When your kid is acting out, try connecting with them emotionally instead of immediately correcting the behavior.
Why it’s great: Kids don’t misbehave because they’re bad—they’re trying to communicate something. When you connect first, they feel secure and are more likely to listen.
Why it’s hard for me: Because my default reaction is, “What were you thinking?!” But slowing down to connect really does work (and saves me from saying things I’ll regret).
3. Offer Choices Instead of Commands
What it is: Give your child a sense of control by offering two acceptable options, like, “Do you want to put your shoes on first or your jacket?”
Why it’s great: It reduces power struggles and helps kids feel more independent.
Why it’s hard for me: Because sometimes I just want to say, “WE’RE LATE. PUT ON YOUR SHOES!” But hey, choices can be magic—when I remember to use them.
4. Model Calmness (Even When You’re Not Feeling It)
What it is: Kids take their emotional cues from us, so staying calm teaches them how to regulate their emotions.
Why it’s great: It creates a more peaceful environment and helps kids feel safe.
Why it’s hard for me: Because staying calm when someone just spilled cereal in my laptop feels… impossible. But even pretending to stay calm can make a difference. (Fake it till you make it, right?)
5. Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results
What it is: Praise your child for trying, even if they don’t succeed. For example, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that puzzle!”
Why it’s great: It builds resilience and teaches kids that effort matters more than perfection.
Why it’s hard for me: Because when I’m juggling 10 things at once, I sometimes forget to pause and recognize the little wins. But when I do, their faces light up, and it’s totally worth it.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
What it is: Positive parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about showing up, trying your best, and giving yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.
Why it’s great: Because no one wins when we’re constantly beating ourselves up.
Why it’s hard for me: Because I’m my own worst critic. But the truth is, every time I try to implement one of these techniques, even if it’s not perfect, I’m showing my kids what it means to learn and grow.
Mama, positive parenting isn’t about having endless patience or always getting it right. It’s about making small, intentional choices to build a stronger connection with your kids. And let’s face it—we’re all a work in progress. So, if your patience takes a coffee break now and then, know this: You’re doing an amazing job.
Big hugs and deep breaths,
Carly